I’m from Melbourne, and when Mark forwarded me the link for this article I had to laugh.  That being said I didn’t understand everything, so it’s not entirely accurate, and I take offense at the Ringwood-Frankston FWY aka Eastlink.   I’m from Frankston, we’re not all bad!

Read it for yourself, if you’re from Melbourne you may just get a laugh, if you’re not, well hopefully you’ll get a laugh too.

You know you’re from Melbourne if…

YOU know you’re from Melbourne if (part II) …

■ You think the Queen Vic Market opening hours are normal.

■ The sight of kids in pyjamas, dressing gowns and slippers in the street makes you immediately think of the Myer Christmas windows.

■ You’re more impressed by someone telling you they’re a barista than a barrister.

■ You subscribe to The Monthly but don’t read it, only buy The Big Issue if people are watching and have a RRR sticker on your car but you’ve been listening to the ABC since you moved out of share-houses.

■ You’ve read The Slap and hate every character in it. But they remind you of your friends.

■ You would have slapped the kid too.

■ You own a tagine, a poffertje iron and a pasta maker. And have never used any of them.

■ You haven’t paid for a ticket on tram in 10 years but you’d pay double if they reintroduced connies.

■ Your three favourite words are: ”Tullamarine, thanks driver.”

■ The last place you’d go for pizza is Lygon Street.

■ You don’t mind graffiti as long as it’s spelt correctly and uses appropriate grammar while sticking it to the man – and is written by a woman.

■ You’ve stepped on an ”emo” walking into Flinders Street station while you were both texting.

■ Whelan the Wrecker, Harry the Hirer, Peter the Possum Man, The Tint Professor, The Dashboard Doctor, The Swagman and Stephanie Alexander all seem like members of the family.

■ You feel sorry for Geelong.

■ Laneways full of people sitting on milk crates eating breakfast at 3pm seems normal.

■ You’ve lived in London, been to conferences in Paris, holidayed in Rome and know New York like the back of your hand, but you’ve never seen the penguins at Phillip Island.

■ You can sing the jingle for Car City.

■ You think a massage with a happy ending means when you’re finished they give you a cafe latte and a Readings voucher.

■ The fact there’s a Chardonnay Crescent and Champagne Road in Chirnside Park reinforces your suspicion that Kath and Kim is a documentary.

■ You hope the Southern Star wheel never gets fixed because if it stays broken we can call it an installation.

■ You take Japanese students to the Coburg drive-in for the cultural experience.

■ Your husband wears a sarong, is in a book group and uses moisturiser. But you call him your partner, because you’re not married or you don’t want people to think you are.

■ Your wife grows the hair under her arms but waxes elsewhere. Partner. Whatever.

■ South Melbourne Market means only one thing: giant chicken dim sims.

■ You know Richmond’s postcode is 3121. And Channel Nine’s address is 22 Bendigo Street.

■ You hate it when they shoot a car chase in Melbourne and Sydney and the editing jumps between the two cities. Like we won’t notice.

■ The Ringwood-Frankston bypass. Do we really want to encourage these people to breed?

■ You’ve never solved the mystery of how WEG always correctly predicted who would win the grand final when he drew his grand final souvenir poster.

■ You have a friend in a band. Or who says they’re in a band.

■ You know the difference between Carlton and North Carlton, Heidelberg and West Heidelberg and Malvern and East Malvern is about $120,000.

■ You know drunk women wearing fascinators staggering around the city with their shoes slung over their shoulder means Oaks day has turned into Dog Day Afternoon.

■ Your favourite joke is Pakenham Upper.

■ You love that only Melbourne people will get this quiz.

Catherine Deveny will be signing copies of her new book Free to a Good Home at Readings Carlton on Friday, November 27 2009, at 1pm.

There’s only 12 more days left until I leave for Anaheim, California and my first ever trip to Disneyland.  Five whole days at the Happiest Place on Earth…  

Fun!

I’ve even finally started reading through “The Unofficial Guide to Disneyland”, a literary wealth of hints and tips towards enjoyment.  I thought it’d be silly, but it’s actually quite informative, in that it gives you all the information you need to navigate the park efficiently, what to take, when to go, and importantly, how to skip the queues where possible.

Good news!

That aside, I need to de-excite a little as it’s late and time for bed.

G’night!

To say today was busy would be an understatement, despite a slow start, I managed to get to the gym, then home, shower, change, in the car with Mark, Alex and Randy and off into Seattle to visit a house that is being remodelled by the Designers we’ve been meeting with.

The renovation was amazing, but there are a lot of things I’d personally do differently, but most importantly, their other client is immensely happy with the work, a good sign.

From remodels it was off to the Ballard Locks, where the large lock is currently empty for maintenance.  The last time I was there was with my parents, and both Locks were operational, and kept my Dad mesmerised for hours.  To see the large one empty is bizarre.  It’s enormous, and it boggles the mind at how fast it’s filled and emptied with water when it’s operational.

From Locks, to Archie McPhees a novelties store, where you can buy any sort of gag gift you’ve ever imagined, and some that you haven’t.  I came home with 2 back scratchers (practical, not gag), some Cappucino flavoured mints, some Bacon flavoured mints, and some Cupcake flavoured mints.  Bizarre but novel.  The Bacon mints taste weird, which really isn’t too surprising.

From there it was off to a Burger restaurant called The Counter where you’re given a check list of items to build your own burger, you simply check mark everything you want and they bring it to you.  Also amazing!

Then off to Smash Putt mini golf.  A game of mini golf that involves air cannons on the first hole, you shoot your ball at targets to score.  Other holes had moving parts, catapaults, and some even had power tools such as Plunge Routers, Drills, Circular saws etc.  At the end of the evening your ball is literally destroyed.  Mine now has saw marks along the side, and a big hole drilled in it.  Great fun!

Then we all grabbed a hot drink, since it’s so cold out, and now we’re home where I’m exhausted and ready for bed.

Hope you all had great weekends!

I ordered (technically Mark did) my new netbook today, so hopefully in the very near future it’ll arrive and I’ll have an interim method of maintaining my email.  Apologies to anyone who’s emailed me and I’ve not responded to.

That’s not the new obsession, nor is it game night.   Game night was also dinner and drinks, along with watching an information DVD about Disneyland in readiness for our upcoming trip.  Not long to go now.  In fact it’s only two weeks away!  Yay!

The obsession…  Alex introduced us this evening to the wonders of Disney pin trading.  He’s already hooked, and had dozens for us to go through and select to allow us to trade when we get there.  He’s like the Disney Crack Peddler.  Gave us a few free pins to get us hooked…

Best run now though, have to get some sleep in readinees

For the first time in a very long time I went out tonight and did something different.

While we’ve seen comedy acts, been to the theatres, had games nights, been to car shows, and had a great time at all of them.  It’s been a very, very, VERY long time since I’ve been to a nightclub, let alone to see a Drag Show.

That’s what we did tonight.  Drinks, Drag and it was utterly amazing.

My Pilates instructor Derik invited us out to join him and his partner this evening to see their friend perform, so I gladly accepted the invitation.  Several hours, and several drinks later…  (2 x vodka and tonic, a dirty martini, and a “red headed slut” – lol), and an amazing show, and we’re home again.  Oh, I didn’t drive, so no need to panic.

The entertainer for the evening was Lily Armani.  Now I’ve seen a lot of drag shows, managed a lot of drag queens and generally been out on the night club scene a whole bunch of times, but this gal is brilliant!  Both on stage and in person.  Her Sarah Palin impersonation is hysterical!

We’ll be back again next week for Derik’s partners birthday and I’m looking forward to it, it should be amazing.

Mum, you need to come for another visit, and while you’re here I’ll take you to the show.  You’ll love it.

As expected for this time of the year, it appears the rains have set in.  One problem with that, I have a driveway full of rich, black compost that needs to go in the garden, and there’s enough of it that I’ve been having to park the car either in the street, or on the lawn.

The lawn is starting to become a non-option.  Whereas through Summer it was dry and parched, now it’s a squelchy, muddy sponge.  A sponge that threatens to remove your shoes as you walk across it.

Here’s hoping for a day of sun, if not just a day of no rain in the near future…

Until then, there’ll be a lot of couch time.  Something that Oliver enjoys.  He’s never happier than when he’s taken possession of my lap, or when he’s laying on his back in the crook of my arm like a baby.

Some might say he’s spoilt…  They’d be right.

This is Week 2 of my return to running, and so far it’s going well.  I still hate running, much to the chagrin of my Trainer, but it is getting easier.

Stupidly tonight though while bowling with my friends Shelly, Lisa and Justin (Wednesday Night 9 Pin League), we were talking about upcoming events next year, and Lisa suggested I could do a 5km run at the June Pacific Crest.  I don’t know what came over me, but I was horrified, but not because it’s 5km’s, but because my goal is to do the 5km run next month in December, so stupidly (or not, we’ll see in June), I think I committed myself to running a half marathon.

I really need to stop and think before I open my mouth.  It should be manageable though.  I guess time will tell…

It’s already after midnight, so this post will be back dated a good 30 minutes or so to ensure it appears for Tuesday.

The day was amazingly busy.  Physical Therapy, supporting a friend at her bowling league, racquetball, computer shopping as I need a netbook (small travel pc) as I’m sick of lugging my big laptop all around the place, and then home again to lose several hours on Facebook’s Farmville redesigning my farm for optimal crop turnover.  *sigh*

I’m addicted.

I’m also tired.  I have to be at the gym again in a few hours for Pilates.

Goodnight!

In that strange way that time has, in that it feels like it’s gone exceedingly fast, but so slowly all at the same time, it’s hard to believe that it’s six months today (yesterday for the Australian time zone) that my Dad passed away.

I just don’t know what to say.

But, just after he passed, I saw a verse that was written at my Grandmother’s old nursing home for one of the people there who passed away around the same time.  At the time it struck a chord, and I took a photo of it.  So now I’m going to share it, as it says more than I’m capable of.

At Rest

Think of me as one at rest,
for me you should not weep.
I have no pain, no troubled thoughts,
for I am just asleep.
The living thinking me that was,
is now forever still.
And life goes on without me now,
as time forever will.

If your heart is heavy now
because I’ve gone away.
Dwell not long upon it friend
For none of us can stay.
Those of you who liked me,
I sincerely thank you all.
And those of you who loved me,
I thank you most of all.

And in my fleeting lifespan,
as time went rushing by.
I found some time to hesitate,
to laugh, to love, to cry.
Matters it now if time began.
If time will ever cease?
I was here, I used it all,
and now I am at peace.

xoxo

Perhaps there’ll be something exciting to read about.  Right now I’m drawing a mental blank.

Hooroo!