Purple day

26 03 2021

Hi if you’re new here. Welcome.

I’ve been away for a while but I’m still around. My name is Craig I have a thousand stories this is part of one. I’m recovering from a stroke that made me epileptic

PmToday is Purple day for Epilepsy Awareness. It’s easy to become cynical as there really does seem to be a day for everything these days this one is a little more personal. S not do fantastic side effect of my stroke was thst it left me with epilepsy which fortunately is now controlled with medication but not all epileptics are do fortunate and seizures can be terrifying and dangerous for those having them. OrWitnessing them. What should you do if you Witness someone having a seizure? Do not panic! Ensure the patient is breathing and is in no imminent danger such as perhaps traffic or falling. Do not put any thing in their mouth it will be bitten off unintentionally injuring either you or the patient. Make them as comfortable as you can and turn them on their side. From personal experiences. I’m usually still aware of my surroundings so sreadduring hand on an arm and some kind words are very much appreciated It’s scary inside a seizure when you’re literally a prisoner inside a misbehaving body. Please be kind to us. On behalf of epileptics everywhere. Please be kind.

Welcome to Australia!

3 12 2019

A little story for you from back when Australia was still fresh and new…. the seal had just been cracked and very strangely for a large chunk of earth there was a distinct new car smell about the place and quite a few meandering sightseers checking things out and most likely becoming tasty morsels for any of the multitudes of roaming dangerous creatures scattered across this new and strange land…. 2 intrepid adventurers decided to ride off and see what they could find. After several days riding they were thoroughly lost and mighty hungry as they kept riding one of them spied a tree in the distance and announced that they were saved as it was a Bacon Tree. The other rider questioned his sanity having never heard of such a tree. The first rider ignored his criticisms and spurred his horse on faster determination being all the encouragement he needed riding at high speed with thoughts of bacon causing his mouth to water just as he was within arms reach of his savior gunshots rang out across the land and he fell dead from his horse with his final breath he called out to his friend “mate, you were right, it’s not a Bacon Tree. Stay back! It’s a Ham Bush!
I’ll let myself out….

There’ll be nun of that thankyou!

21 02 2019

This is my first foray back into creative writing in many years.

I’m quite proud of it given I wrote it while sitting on the edge of a bed in a live-in rehabilitation facility that I’m in whilst I recover from a stroke and brain hemorrhage

The bones of the story came from s very old joke I’d heard many years ago but remembered yesterday…

-An old joke that came back to me yesterday.
2 nuns are driving home late at night from midnight mass. The road is dark and bordered by overhanging trees, so very definitely creepy!! The nun in the passenger seat is nervous and her nervousness is making the nun driving somewhat anxious and jumpy.
The passenger nun quietly starts playing with her rosary and crucifix in an effort to settle her nerves, when suddenly theres a *thud*and the scariest vampire you could ever begin to imagine lands on the car bonnet crouched down, all windswept, interesting(and just generally Hollywood fabulous) but inherently evil. His eyes are aglow in a shade of red attributable only to the darkest recesses of hell. His fangs are bared and he’s hissing rabidly at the nuns who have both let out a scream and a small squirt of pee. As you would… the nervous nun in the passenger seat dissolves in a panic accidentally breaking the string of her rosary. So now along with the sound of hissing theres the forlorn sound of beads rolling off her lap onto the car floor and clicking as they roll around.. as if the atmosphere isn’t terrible enough. Theres a distinct smell of ammonia permeating the air.
The already on edge nun who is driving is white knuckling the steering wheel land muttering every prayer she can muster under her breath whilst quietly and somewhat un-nun like hoping the vampire takes her panicked travel companion first. The vampire must have heard her or read her mind. They be tricksy creatures those vampires. And he starts edging towards the passenger nun who explodes afresh in panic in a vision somewhat akin to what you’d imagine 50 crows stuffed into a shoebox would look like and is screaming at the driver “!for God’s sake! Show him you’re cross. Show him your cross!!!!
By now shes beyond cross, she’s livid!
So to the repetitive scream of “show him your cross
“She winds down her window looks the Vampire dead in the eye and yells “GET THE FUCK OFF MY CAR”!!!!!!!-

Seasons greetings

23 12 2018

Greetings to you all out in the interwebs.

I’m a little stunned that the year is drawing to a close already.

I have managed to escape “stroke jail” to spend Christmas with my family and some dear friends who have flown in fromScotland. Cant wait to see them as weve not all been in the same country since 2011 when my mother and I traveled to Europe to complete a wish my father made on his death bed. Which was to fin the grave of his uncle who had been shot doe over Germany during the war. Mum also wanted to visit England and find the house she was born in. She emigrated to Australia with her family at the age of 3 so it was quite an emotionally charged trip. Lots of fun and several countries.

Australia, America, Germany, England, France and Ireland.

A trip of a lifetime for both of us.

And now its zchristmas. So to you and all of your families I wish yo a very merry zchristmas and a happy, safe and prosperous new year 2019.

What’s in a name…?

3 12 2018

Now they’re just messing with me..
I promise these names are real.
I have a Dr Ting, and a Dr Tang. And as of today 2 new physical therapy Assistants.
Both Chinese.
One named Yee, the other Ha

Ting Tang, Yee-Ha!

Summer is looming..

20 11 2018

Another day is drawing to a close and this one brought with it our first taste of the impending Summer, all signs point to it being a scorcher.
The day ended with a rain storm that was heavy enough to flood the “stroke jail” garden which in turn flowed into the kitchen. No damage other than it restricting my access due to the slippinng hazards, but it was all dry again in time to have dinner, and the temperature has dropped to a level more suitable for sustaining life. No real issue as I have a/c in my room which almost runs 24/7.
I like it cooler and it keeps the staff out or their visits short. Lol!πŸ˜‰πŸ€£πŸ€£

Yay, science!!!

16 11 2018

Yay! I’m a researcher!!
To be scientifically accurate.
Alcohol IS a solution!!!!!!

Exploring the cuckoos nest…

15 11 2018

This place makes me laugh, and makes my brain hurt.
Kerfuffle in the kitchen tonight because one of the residents and a staff member couldn’t find the “blue-shaped”frypan….
I wanted to ask them what the color nine smelt like but I was too busy in my mind paddling as hard and fast away from the vortex if crazy as possible, under no circumstances was I about to join the insanity.
So I ate my salad. Sipped my drink and retired to NY room. I’ve already had a headache all day I dont need it being agitated by my fellow residents. Upside, makes me feel sane to sit back and observe.

Some things are great!

11 11 2018

Despite all the health bullshit in my life, I’m very grateful that I’m not lactose or gluten intolerant.

In fact, I’m not only tolerant, I’m a big supporter/fan.

So it was with much delight today that I received some delicious treats that cater to this tolerance.

Some most delicious soft blue cheese and some crunchy rosemary flavored crackers to have it on.

Thankyou Marie, you wonderful human being.

On my next weekend home from rehab well enjoy some with french bubbles. I can’t wait!

In fact if not for my being on a bunch of antibiotics and other assorted medications I’d have opened the champers today. Instead it’s been water and ginger beer. I’m trying to behave while my body recuperates from the last health hiccup..

Sleepy time now, water and bed.

Sweet dreams folks.😁

Flipping out

7 11 2018

Quite literally,

Whilst I’ve been in the live in rehabilitation facility they’ve been tweaking my medication doses.

Which apparently caused me to have a barrage of seizures the other night. At least twenty. Just as one stopped the next one would start which freaked me and mum out and necessitated that an ambulance be called especially when I stopped breathing. That saw me hospitalized for 3 days. And just for fun I also have a blood clot in my left shoulder and cellulitis in my arm from the cannula that had to be put in my arm.

Not a fun weekend and because of my extended stay out of rehab I’ve been discharged which I’m not quite sure is such a bad thing as it wasn’t as great as i expected.