I Gave Him Oral Pleasure

16 01 2009

That’s right, you read it correctly.  It’s Mark’s birthday today.  Happy Birthday Mark!
So I gave him Oral Pleasure for his birthday, as is befitting.

You know how it is.  You’re in a long term relationship, birthdays, celebrations, special occasions…  So it was only appropriate.  What a brilliant way to start your day and put a smile on one’s face.

Anyway, he’s about to leave for work, and we’ll possibly, hopefully, be going out to dinner tonight.   Which I can’t wait for, as I’ve been stuck home for quite some time now, and am going positively crazy.
It’s one thing to stay home and do nothing of you’re own volition, but to be given orders to stay home, and have your method of transport taken away from you…  Well frankly, that just sucks!  Wow, this seems to be a theme. 😉

Despite being stuck at home though, I did manage, thanks mainly to my friend, the lovely Lisa, to get to the shops earlier in the week to secure his birthday present and a card.
Lisa, like myself, is not a fan of shopping.  She imagined this was going to require an involved, long and drawn out shopping process.  Not likely.  I assured her that this trip would take roughly 25 minutes total, including time taken to find a car parking space.  I came in 3.5 minutes under estimate.  Yay me!

The trick of course is to know exactly what you want, exactly where to get it, and to not mess around during the process allowing yourself to become distracted.  It also helped that the store I wanted is next door to the card and gift wrap shop.  When I plan, I plan well. 😉

In fact, I planned so well that we then had time to go to an AT&T store for Lisa, and then REI for the both of us.  We didn’t buy anything, but we did get to look.

Now, back to the present.

Lisa took great delight in pointing out, incessantly, that I was obviously buying Mark a present because I love him.
She hasn’t known him for long apparently, and hasn’t quite made the connection that I’m actually a masochist.
It all became clear when I explained that not only was this a birthday present for Mark, but a statement, and one I think was pretty much near brilliant in it’s conception.

Now, let me make clear, while I don’t expect gifts, quite seriously I don’t, I enjoy giving more than getting, receiving a gift whether expected or not is still fun, and always appreciated.  Expectation or not though, there are certain times in a year that regardless of whether you like receiving a gift or not, I think you should receive one.  Primarily, this is on a birthday, it’s the one day you have that’s your own.  It’s also the day I offer Amnesty for 24 hours.  Do what you will, it’s your day, but do it within reason, 24 hours passes quickly enough, and I’ll be waiting at the other end. 😉

This year’s birthday gift, and I know, I’m making the whole beautiful act of giving a gift look tawdry and cheap, and that I’m a calculating monster…  But, you get that.  It’s reality, I’ve made peace with it, so let’s move on, a perfect one, as Mark had coveted it for months.

Ok, let’s speed things up a bit, and you need to take into account the following…

I’d had surgery within a week of going shopping so under Doctors instructions to rest and stay home, (not major, but enough to require heavy duty painkillers), and can therefore not “operate heavy machinery”, so don’t currently have a car as Mark has been driving himself to work.
I have been unable to work since moving to this country (Visa restrictions).  Which is driving me absolutely insane.  More so when Mark takes great delight, especially in front of friends and strangers, of announcing how he pays for everything.  Grrr!  So therefore don’t have my own income or money to draw on at will.

In summary, I’m recovering/recuperating, under the influence of drugs, no transport, and money is always an issue because I rarely have any, not this time though, I planned for this contingency.

Lisa was my key.  She drove me to the stores, ensured that I didn’t wander sideways into the path of any vehicles (seriously, equilibrium is not included with these drugs!), and assisted me to achieve my goal.  Thanks Lisa!

Now, you should be up to speed, so here’s the statement.

Despite all of this, I managed to get a card and a birthday present for my partner of over 10 years.  Rendering moot FOREVER, the annual excuse of, and please insert whine when you read it, “I don’t have a car, I can’t get to the stores”.

I didn’t have a car either, and also, most definitely do not work for an organisation that has free shuttles to offices located in shopping areas.  Bitter?  Yes, a little, but I make a good point! 😉

Point made, we move on, he loved his gift and card, and of course the Oral Pleasure.  Who wouldn’t love that.  Now I can go about my day.

Oh, before I do though…  The Oral Pleasure I was talking about, that was also dual purpose, I’m a thinking man I am!

Oral Pleasure is one of those things you give that gives back.  You give it because you know to give, is to receive, whether it be in kind, or just the serenity of knowing that now it’s over you won’t be having to repeat the process in the near future.  It’s a gift that I believe is perfect, so I’ve included a photo of it for your enjoyment.

 Oral Pleasure Chocolate