Day 4 – Mastering the Master Cleanse

18 10 2009

Mastering?  I wish, but I’m still persevering with it.

My third day wasn’t exactly perfect.  I was hungry, really hungry.  So I cheated a little…

I’ve calculated that I’m currently on roughly 600-700 calories a day with the lemonade drink, a level which is at least 2/3’s lower than what my dietician had me on back in 2007 when I was following the 20/20 plan.  But, this is a detox, so I acknowledge that while extreme, it’s appropriate to the mission.  My body disagrees though.

So, as I said.  I cheated.  During the day, a very long day, as I was awake for over 19 hours, I ate some food.  2 low fat mozzarella cheese sticks, a protein bar, and a few small pieces of chicken, and because we were out late last night, seeing Kevin Smith live on stage at the Benaroyal Hall in Seattle; “An Evening with Kevin Smith”, I had a coffee too.  Naughty.  But, I also didn’t drink a whole litre of the lemonade mix, so in my calculations I was really only 200 calories at max over the limit of the detox, AND I’m still down a little over 2lbs (approx 1kg) this morning.

That means that today I have to behave.  Perseverance is the name of the game.  Time to be stoic / stubborn and adhere to the rules.

Which brings me to this moment.  It’s salt water flush time, and I have a large glass of it sitting next to me as I type this, and I’m struggling to psyche myself into a place where I’ll actually drink it.  It’s effects, while not quite immediate, are somewhat explosive, but thorough.  It’s called a flush with good reason.  Flush should be capitalised though…  Salt Water FLUSH.

Well I’m fast getting to the end of this post, and the moment is fast approaching that I’m going to have to suck it up, and drink this drink.  I’ve heard several suggestions for making it easier.

Lick a lemon.  Put the juice of half a lemon in it, drink it slowly over 20 minutes…  Thanks Dean.
Sadly, these don’t work for me.  Especially the drinking slowly part.  Why draw out the torture?  I don’t pull bandaids off slowly, and by comparison, that’s slightly more pleasant.  What does work is drinking it as fast as possible, and stoically reminding myself of the benefits.  Luckily for me, I don’t get nauseous, nor do I gag, but it does take a hell of a lot of will power to maintain that mindset.

So far I’ve been managing to convince myself that I’m drinking Chicken Noodle soup.  Chicken Noodle soup without chicken, and without noodles.  It’s warm and it’s salty, so while I’m really not fooling myself, it does make it a little easier.  Adding lemon juice just makes it salty lemon water…  Gag!   Drinking slowly prolongs the agony, and licking a lemon at the end to remove the taste…  Well that’s just reminiscent of a tequila shot or a margherita so just torturous during a detox, and it really doesn’t clear the after taste.

What does work?  For me, it’s the Chicken Soup analogy, followed by a glass of plain water.  Half of which I use to rinse my mouth of the residual salt, and the other half I drink.   Then I wait for the first rumblings…  Rumblings which send me to the bathroom, quite a few times.  Like I said, it’s a FLUSH.

I’m undecided at this point whether it’s the low calorie portion of the detox that’s causing my weight to decrease so rapidly, or whether it’s the running back and forth from the bathroom.  Quite probably, it’s a combination of both.  Low calories, and high activity…

Alright, I’ve stalled long enough.  Time to post this entry for the day, and drink this large, tepid, salty glass of water.  Blargh, I’m really not feeling it at all this morning.

BUT.  The benefits so far really are outwaying the unpleasant start to the morning.

Oh, one pleasant part, once the FLUSH is complete for the day, you really do feel better.  Literally cleansed.  So at least that’s something positive to hang onto.  Although it could just be relief that that portion of the morning is over.

But I’m committed, it’s Day 4, nearly half way, and I’m too stubborn to quit now…

See ya, and if you’re considering doing the cleanse yourself, go for it.  It’s only 10 days of your life, but it does require willpower…